By the Ocean
Clear 73 Degrees
4:55 a.m.
Early on in business, I trusted prospects. I didn’t trust them because I thought they were inherently good, I trusted them because my view of myself was so low that it felt like their words had more value than my opinion of their words. (Ouch!)
It doesn’t take long to realize that what prospects say and what they do are often very different.
- “I’ll get back with you…”
- “I’ll look through this proposal and let you know…”
- “I’ll run this by the team and then we can get going…”
- “I’ll be ready to start next week.”
- “I mailed the check a week ago…”
I actually had a client play the silly check game years ago. He told me it was coming. A week later, he said he had sent it. One day, while talking on the phone, he blurted out: “I lied. I didn’t send it, but I’ll send it now.”
This guy was a successful business man. A grown adult with kids. And a liar. This is what we’re dealing with.
These experiences might transform someone into a rather cynical curmudgeon were it not for my chance encounter with a solution to this problem:
Make trust something that is earned, not given without cost. It is an output, not an input.
I don’t trust people now. That’s not a negative, it’s a way to thrive. I don’t have to wonder if I should trust someone. I just start with “No,” and prepare to be proven wrong!
Trust is earned. And before that is awarded, I get to enjoy the opportunity of witnessing whether or not a prospect’s actions are in alignment with their words.
Trust only arrives after that is demonstrated.
As you might imagine, it doesn’t happen very often!
But that’s not because people are liars. It’s because they are scared. And the Matrix has taught them that “lying” (often by omission) is the safe way out.
Your Universe is a protected space where YOU hold the power to admit or deny entry.
Not everyone deserves to be on the inside.
You don’t have to be mean about it, you just have to be clear.
If you don’t want to entertain liars, then don’t tolerate that behavior.
If you don’t want to surround yourself with people who don’t deeply respect you, then politely show them the door when they make that known to you.
If you don’t want to violate your own boundaries in order to make a client or customer happy, then be firm when you get to that line and don’t walk over it.
In your business, you are King, you are Queen.
Acting like it is a great way to attract the right people and to repel the wrong ones.
Sometimes the best way to speed up your progress is to identify the “dead weight” you’ve accumulated that no longer serves.