By the Ocean
Cloudy 79 Degrees
5:14 a.m.
Years ago, I studied with a Celtic Shaman who taught me a lot about power, energy, magical living and more.
This was early in my freelance copywriting days and I was miserable.
The copywriting was going really well. I made six-figures my very first year, which felt to me like I had won the lottery.
It’s the rest of me that wasn’t doing well. I felt like I was living as a pressure cooker that was about to pop. Something was going on inside of me and I had no idea what it was.
All I knew was that I spent most days scared to death, despite a growing healthy and happy family, despite a beautiful wife who I love more than anything, despite having a life that most people dream about.
One day, this Shaman brought up power and the fear people have of their own power. I was interested in this topic because I wanted to be powerful. And I wanted to succeed.
Immediately my mind rejected this as a stupid and impossible thing.
“Who would be afraid of their own power? Who would be afraid of success?” That idea sounded crazy to me.
I believe she was gracious enough not to start laughing and pointing her finger in my direction, because I’m sure I would remember if that’s what happened.
Instead, she allowed me to learn the lesson by coming to the conclusion on my own.
I was afraid of my own power. I was afraid of success. Success was far beyond the realm of anything I had been conditioned to believe was possible for myself.
I felt this even though I was experiencing what most people would call success! In fact, it was the experience of success that was causing so much disturbance in my body. This is how deeply the conditioning is embedded in our being.
“I helped other people succeed.” That was the program. When it came to ME succeeding, the conditioning made it feel like I was traveling into forbidden territory.
The reason I was scared of success is because success is power…and success is responsibility. And I was afraid of power and had no idea what responsibility actually meant. Specifically, I was afraid of my own power and carrying that responsibility on my shoulders. (No one told me back then this is the only route to freedom!)
What greater fear does a Matrix slave have than to imagine really giving it your “all” and failing? The truth would be plain for everyone to see. There’d be nowhere to hide from the truth after that!
What all of this toxic soup resulted in was confused action. It resulted in me saying one thing and doing another. Complaining I didn’t have X but then rationalizing to myself why I couldn’t pursue X.
It had me running after X knowing deep down I could never have X. From the outside looking in, it looks like a form of learned insanity. On the inside, it’s the worst feeling in the world.
I work with a lot of people on the journey towards success. Some march forward and never stop. But many do not. They get a ways down the road and they get scared.
They don’t say this. And I don’t say it either. Much like my mentor all of those years ago, I understand the lesson has to be learned by the student at the right time. It can’t be shoved down someone’s throat at a time when it’s not ready to be received.
But the body doesn’t lie. The “fear” shows up in different ways. Great ideas start to slow down. Action stops happening. Maybe a phone call gets skipped or rescheduled. The “homework” that was supposed to be done, for some reason, never gets done.
Pretty soon, the person has convinced themselves they are walking down the wrong path. Then the search for a new “right” path begins. This recharges the excitement and the whole thing begins again.
THE FEAR OF SUCCESS is an obstacle for many.
The problem isn’t YOU. The problem is your capacity to carry your own power and to be fully responsible for its effects on the world.
It doesn’t matter how fast you walk on this journey towards building a great business, what matters is that you don’t stop walking.
Business is a transformational gauntlet. The journey is not a punishment, it is a realtime upgrade of your entire being and the opportunity to step into a fuller expression of who you are.