By the Ocean
Sunny 78 Degrees
6:29 a.m.
It seems there is such a thing as trying to be too helpful. I’m not sure why it works this way, but it’s pretty consistent over the years:
The harder you try to help someone, the worse things get.
The logical mind has no explanation for this. But if you’re paying attention, this theory proves itself over and over again.
You can’t be too helpful, unless you want to suffer.
Does it scare people? Does it make them uncomfortable? Does it freak someone out to show them the path to their dreams so clearly that the ONLY thing they have to do is start walking?
Maybe. Maybe people are afraid of success. Maybe people are afraid of the journey. Maybe they are frightened of their own power. Maybe they never want to learn the truth about what they could achieve because… just maybe… they might actually try and find out they’re not “up to the task?” Maybe that’s the story that’s going on in their head. I don’t know. I just know what I see.
And what I see is that there needs to be a boundary for helpful. It can’t go past a certain point or THINGS GET WEIRD.
It gets even worse if you’re a recovering people pleaser like I am. In that situation, the people pleaser is getting some sort of good feeling from “over helping” even though he is actively engaging in an activity that seems to keep humans from making progress.
I see this in the world of surfing ever since taking on the roll of chief babysitter, (good looking!) camera man and video wizard for my wife’s Mom Goes Surfing project.
I see people trying to be helpful, by pushing a beginner right into a wave and… SPLAT… they get wrecked.
Too helpful. They didn’t do it under their own steam. Something got weird and “disaster” shows up.
Same thing can happen when you’re working with a client, attracting a prospect, negotiating the terms of an engagement.
There is such a thing as being too helpful. And humans can’t deal with it.
That’s where a certain level of healthy emotional indifference comes into the mix.
The healthy thing is not to care. You control YOU. You direct YOU. You make the offer to serve. But each party involved is still responsible for their own experience and results.
You can’t be too helpful or you interfere with the natural flow.
All of this begins in the mind and the body. If you don’t have control of those, you become their slave. A form of slavery controlled by fear, past conditioning and the Matrix programming we endure every day of our lives. That’s why I made Sovereign Mind. I made it because I needed it.
If you’re trying to please someone, you’ve already lost. Because your actions are so filled with need that they will create a bizarre dynamic in the relationship you have with your prospect or client.
You’re moving towards success. You can’t bring everyone along. That’s not sad, it’s just a fact.
Allow the process of natural selection to work. Follow its flow. Give attention to those who show they have the energy and desire to make the journey under their own power.